I.... don't know. I was going to say something, I felt like I should say something, but I couldn't think of that thing I so desperately wanted to say.

Sigh.

I want to roleplay, but I can't think of anything. It is aggravating. Incredibly. Moreso than it should be.

I want to roleplay Sydney, Avery, and Theodore especially, but I have no ideas for that roleplay.

Actually, in general, I suck at coming up with ideas. That's just how it is. Not only that, but I'm really bad at interacting with others in a roleplay. It's simple really, just place your character near another character and have them interact. But for some reason it seems incredibly difficult for me, and then I feel like I'm not involved while I know I need to be involved. It's just... argh. I get frustrated with myself. I am such an idiot sometimes, but I can't seem to do anything about it.

I saw Matt today. After school. My brother went over to his friend's house and we went to pick him up on the way to game night. It just so happens that Matt lives across the street from Peter's friend, and he was outside mowing the lawn. I said hi and stuff. Then we left and had bucketloads of fun at game night.

Nicole and JM are truly awesome. And they will both be at Geek.Kon. JM will be giving a presentation too, between 12:00 and 2:00 or sometime around then. It would be cool to see him there and stuff, since we actually know each other.

A shower? Yes, voice in my head, that sounds like a good idea. I do need a shower, quite desperately. Well, maybe not quite that desperately, voice in my head. Just enough to go upstairs and take one. Can't be greasy and smelly tomorrow, oh no.

My hair gets so nasty by the end of the day. Again, an aggravating something. Not nasty in the dirty, greasy sense, but messed up and tangled. Grrr...

I don't think it would work if I were girly. It just... wouldn't. No. Nuh-uh.

Dresses, skirts... not my thing. Sometimes I wish they were, but I just can't picture them and me in the same image. I'm just not wired that way.

This post seems like it is so much longer than it really is.

Sigh.

That's my second sigh that I've typed. I've sighed more times while writing this, but they weren't important enough to be acknowledged.

I need that job, man. I neeeeed that job. What job is "that job"? Any job that I can get. So far I've applied to the Boston Store and Copps. Next is Target. Then Breugger's or Bed Bath and Beyond if I get desperate, since I'm not sure what ages they are looking for.

Of course, I could just apply to a different Copps if I don't get the first job. But I have a good enough change. I mean, come on, they need more workers, and I'm trying for bagging and stocking. It seems they can never have too many of those.

I have sketchbook assignments. I don't like them. They are perspective drawings, and I really don't like those. They never look proper and always turn out funky and fake-looking. Blech. And I know they will help me with drawing things that I actually enjoy, but I wish I could just be better at perspective to begin with. Seriously, I could do so much with that skill that I can't do now.

Whatever, it's getting late. I need to take a shower. My bed is calling me. So is my wall of Elvis and postcards.

That is one important reason that I need a job. I want to buy postcards off of deviantART and flood my room with them. But I can't do that unless I had an adequate amount of money. Also, you know, things like college entail much moolah, along with cars... I probably won't get my own car for a while though. Way too expensive. The actual car, then insurance and having things fixed up... I couldn't afford that.

Anyway, bed. No, first shower, then bed. Oh, bed, how you torture me so.

My dreams have been strange lately, in a disturbing sense. I should post about them sometime. But not now. Now there is no time. None. Be gone, ye thoughts that demand to be type out. Back, cretain! Shun!

So long, Good night.

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: The Kinslayer- Nightwish (IN MAH HEAD)

So... I'm just doing this so I can figure out how I'm going to post my Elemental characters for a new board I've joined...


name: Theodore Swann
age: 15
main element: Wind
personal element: I'm still deciding.
fimilar: A Crow named Gabriel
description: http://tn3-1.deviantart.com/fs21/300W/f/2007/247/1/a/Theodore_Swann_Profile_by_xmyblindworldx.jpg
personality: He is quiet and reserved around people he doesn't know, but has a lot to say. Once he knows someone and is comfortable around them, he can be quite loud and obnoxious. He takes things personally, and can be very sensitive. It doesn't take much for him to be put off of something, or sink back into himself. That being said, he gets over things quickly.
other? Theodore is tall, and you can decide whether or not his features are really that exagerated. Picture him however you please, but how I drew him in the picture is how he looks to me. Well, okay, he looks a bit younger than that. ^^ He wears sweaters, sweatervests, and turtlenecks a lot. If not that, then polo shirts. This isn't important information, but I think it's cute.



All a have for my other character is his name, Simon, and his element, Earth. I need to figure everthing else out. Rawr.

Current Location: basement
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: LIVE MUGGLECAST 12 HOUR EVENT WHOO HOO!!!

I really wish I were good at HTML. If I were, I could make myself a pretty layout with pretty blue colors and pretty fonts and texts and a nice pretty banner at the top, or that doesn't even look like a banner, but is still pretty. Yep.

What I imagine is bold text for my title, and whispy, long, thin text for the subtitle. Lots of blues and whites, maybe some greys and blacks in the theme and background and stuff.

Urgh, I don't know how to explain it. Like I said- FRUSTRATING. Like whoa. O_O Grrrrrrrrr!

Stupid... I don't know. I don't even know.

Wow, I'm overreacting.

And this playlist doesn't sound nearly as good as it did when I first made it. This is supposed to inspire me? Sure thing.

I'm right in the middle of a slashy roleplaying scene with two of my own characters. Nothing to work off of but myself, and no proper music to push me along. And they aren't having sex, just messing around. Cutely. Playfully like. Because I won't do a scene too over the top so soon, especially with some of the people I roleplay with who don't like scenes like that even when they're hetero.

Ah well. It's late anyway, and I have to do music tomorrow. Music, music... I should really practice more. Maybe I could get good then, and do as well as my teacher wants me to be.

I seriously need to work out. Two different things interfered these past two days, and that just needs to stop happening. It's important. Not something to be pushed aside because something comes up. Schedule things around the gym time, it shouldn't be that hard. It's like 40 minutes, not long at all. That should be easy. No way can I get in shape for school again if I keep skivving off like that. Get your act together, self!

Yeah, I don't know what the hell is wrong. Nothing, but something feels off. Maybe the fact that this journal is friends only, but I don't have any friends to begin with. Hahahaha... But sometimes it's comforting to know that there won't be any comments about all the stupid things said during my rants about nothing. It's not like I remember this stuff. Though for some reason I still like comments. Probably because I like people, and then I know that I'm not alone. Ah, that must be it.

Well, I'm off to bed. I'll fight my demons, itches, and thirst in the comfort of my bed that may or may not be a comfort. Only time will tell!

Plus, it is always fun to delve into the dark pits and casms of my mind without consequence. Except for what could possibly be the result of accidently sleeping in

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: From Yesterday- 30 Seconds to Mars